Who needs recreational weed when you have a bathroom so “calming” right inside Terminal B at Newark Liberty International Airport?

A business services company, Cintas, just named a gender-neutral bathroom inside Terminal B one of the best public restrooms in the nation. And you can help finish off its competition by voting.

That competition is coming from not only other airports but from recreation areas, bars and restaurants, spas, and botanical gardens. Fancy!

So the flights might get canceled constantly and the lines might be tremendous but apparently this stupid bathroom is worth all the frustration? Cintas says this somewhat 70s-themed airport bathroom does away with “traditional amalgamation of restroom facilities through gender-based separation in favor of public environments that allow privacy for all users.”

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Uh, OK.

I didn’t know that’s what I was looking for in a bathroom but I guess they’re the experts?

Sara D. Davis
Sara D. Davis

Forget that in both 2020 and 2019 in a JD Powers survey Newark Liberty scored dead last in customer satisfaction. These toilet stalls provide the magical zen we needed to get beyond all that. Cintas waxes poetic about its “calming environment.”

Cintas gushes,

“Local imagery, integrated into the architectural treatment of glass and tile, establishes a sense of place to remind the users where they might have visited or what they might want to experience during a return trip.”

I’m not sure where inside Terminal B this is, but if I can have such a been-to-the-mountaintop epiphany just by peeing here I need to see if it’s before or after security. Maybe I need to stop by even if I’m not flying anywhere.

If you want to vote to put this magical Mecca of plumbing over the top you can do that here.

You have until Aug. 26.

To think we can root once again for the Little League kids from Tom’s River East AND vote for a Newark Airport bathroom all in the same month makes you wonder how people don’t take New Jersey more seriously, amirite?

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