What do you do when you’re trying to get President Donald Trump to approve a $1.8 billion in federal funding to fix a 100-year-old decrepit swing bridge? Name it after him.

That’s an idea North Jersey Record columnist Charles Stile floated in order to get the money for the “Gateway project” which would revamp the Hackensack river bridge, build a new Hudson River rail tunnel as well as restoring the existing one.

As it stands now, the aging bridge barely works, sometimes leaving commuters in bumper to bumper traffic while workmen try to bang it into submission. Literally. I mean banging. With sledgehammers. While angry commuters wait to cross. As you might imagine, lawmakers are desperate.

So desperate, that as Stile notes, the idea was originally floated by Trump-hater extraordinaire Sen. Cory Booker, who proposed naming the tunnel after Trump last Spring. The bridge would be more visible, and thus presumably more alluring for Trump, who historically loves seeing his name in lights.

So the theoretical "THE DONALD J. TRUMP PORTAL BRIDGE" is an actual possibility. In a blue state, no less, where merely the mention of Trump’s name is enough to stop traffic. But hey, no matter how bad a taste it may leave in your mouth, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

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