10 Ways to Piss Off a South Jerseyan
Going off to college in a different state had its pro's and con's.
PRO: You meet various types of people, cultures, and mannerisms from other states
CON: If you're from Jersey, the ridiculous questions that you're asked about your state's stereotypes are INFURIATING.
Someone once asked me, "Is New Jersey as bad as it sounds? Being the 'Armpit of America'? "
........what? No. And even if it was, only people from Jersey can say that.
If you're not from Jersey, don't call it an armpit .
So it got me thinking of all the things people have asked me about New Jersey that would piss off any South Jerseyan...
"What's the difference between North and South Jersey?"
Everything. North Jersey is what you see on all the reality shows, South Jersey wishes those shows would shrivel up and die.
"What exit are you from?"
Literally shoot me. No-one from South Jersey goes by "exits" and if they do, then they're North Jersey bred. They're the ones who use the Parkway to come mooch our beaches. We use the Expressway, thank you.
"What? You don't Know how to Pump Gas?"
Because I went to school out of state, I personally can answer this question with a "yes". However, before going to school I had NO EFFING CLUE how to pump my gas.......got a problem with that?
"Did you just say 'Wooder'?"
I did. Now shut up and go fetch me my beverage.
"Does it suck having Chris Christie as your governor?"
Yes. Just as much as it sucks for you to point it out so just go away.
"Why does everyone drive so crazy in Jersey?!"
Because slow pokes like you shoobies don't know how to drive!!! We have a fast paced lifestyle living between two major cities: Philadelphia and NYC--keep up.
"Why doesn't Jersey have any Pro Sports teams?"
.....the Jersey Devils? And no, I've never seen him so don't bother asking me that question either.
"Aren't there a lot of Italians in Jersey?"
Why? Because the Jersey Shore tarnished the way people view our beautiful beaches? NEWS FLASH: Not everyone here looks like Snooki! And if you come here looking like that in the hopes to fit in, I'll gladly "fist pump" you in the face.
"Why don't you have an accent?"
Oh dear, I guess the Jersey God's didn't bless me with the ability to elongate my O's
"What's a Wawa?"
.....let me ask you this: HAVE YOU EVER LIVED?