No Jersey Girl Should Do This To a Pizza
I married a Jersey girl. I'm proud of that. For the first time ever she let me down. It happened a few days before New Year's Eve.
First of all, there are certain things we all know innately about Jersey girls. They don't pump their own gas. That may be the biggest one. They're tough. They speak their minds. Certainly, they take Jersey cuisine seriously. Like pizza. They don't mess around with pizza.
Or do they?
My mom and step-father visited our house during the holiday break and we had pizza sent over. The next day my wife reheated a slice for herself. I was distracted with one of our boys so I didn't know it was happening until it was all over. Too late to do anything about it, I walked in to find THIS left on the couch.
I'm a reasonable person. I don't expect my wife to agree with me on everything. There are certainly bands I appreciate that she doesn't. God knows I'm not changing her mind on the value and benefit of allowing self-serve gas in New Jersey. But eating pizza with a fork? Who does she think she is, Donald Trump? You were raised in Piscataway, woman!
Of course I confronted her about this. She had some lame excuse about never doing it with fresh pizza but when it's reheated pizza the crust is too soft, you can't fold it right, blah blah blah.
But now this scourge is in my own home? Being committed by the woman I love? What is happening to Jersey girls? Forks with pizza? I thought I knew her! What am I going to find out next? She thinks pineapple is an acceptable topping? She prefers Dominos? #SMHin2019